ONCE UPON A TIME..


We meet each other 6 years ago, you become my classmate and we became friends. After a while, strange thing happen and....
but i am not sure of my feelings so i kept my feelings for you as a secret.. why i am falling for you? i have no idea..

we stay as good friends throughout the years, my feelings towards you become stronger..


i waited for five years before i have the courage to confess.. my feelings towards you are not something that be taken for granted so that is why i waited so long to confess, to verify whether that feelings are true or not..

but things are not that easy.. you said you appreciate my feelings for you, but you love me as your best friend only.. and i still remember something you said that make me feel so sad,

'i dont want to get married with my best friends.....'

i'm speechless,
i'm shocked
and
i'm sad.

although i respect your reasons but i still feel that it is not fair that you dont give me chance..

i pretend that i'm okay but deep inside my heart everything is mix around.

i feel relieved,
i feel mad,
i feel okay
but
deep inside,
i still feel so damn sad.

i thought because of we known each other long enough our relationship can turn into a more serious relationship but i guess not..


i just laugh when you said that you feel guilty cause you rejected me.. i said i'm fine, i'm confessing because i wanna move on as i already kept the feelings for 5 years..

but do you know that i lied? do you know how frustrated i am? do you know all that?

after i confess, we become total stranger.. i dont know what i felt but i think i miss you..

don't you miss me? don't you miss us?


i lost you as my best friends.. i dont know what to do anymore.. saying i'm okay to you continuosly may make you feel more guilty.. i'm not regretting confessing to you.. i just regret that we become like this..

if you reading this entry, i just wanna say that do not abandon me as your best friend.. if you do not want me to love you more than friends, treat me like the before and insyaAllah i will try to reduce my feelings.. do not shut yourself and disappear like this.. you make me feel guilty.. just come back please..

pleasee.. :'(


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